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Marisa O'Brien

3 Simple Steps - When things don't work out

Summer is here! Ideas keep running through my mind of things to do, places to go and people to see. Restrictions are opening up here and we can now actually get out and do things. It is bringing feelings of normalcy. Not to mention a whole lot of gratitude to be able to experience some of the fun adventures we used to take for granted prior to COVID.


Yet all of this excitement and enthusiasm can fall flat when things don't work out the way we expected them to. Do you ever experience this?


This is all too common in my life. For me, an adjustment needs to be made asap because feeling down or disappointed is just not a place I like to stay in for very long.


You may be asking, how do you pull yourself out of that place? Here are the 3 tried and true steps I use to do just that.


Step 1:

Move your body

I am obsessed with the science behind things and moving our bodies actually releases brain chemicals like dopamine and serotonin that help to regulate your mood. I tell my son they are our "happy chemicals".


So get up and move your body! I'm not talking about a workout (while I will not discourage that), I seem to not have the time when things go awry to just drop everything and go work out. If you do, I encourage it but it isn't required to get the quick results we want.


What I am talking about is 1 minute of moving your body, 20 seconds can even make a big difference. This is something you can do with kids too. Have everyone get up and shake it off. Shake off the feelings of disappointment or frustration or sadness. You can physically shake like you are moving to Taylor Swift's, "Shake it off", or you can shake like a dog who just got wet, ha! Either option will give you what you need and will be fun for the kids too. You could do jumping jacks, jog in place, race down the hall, dance, hop scotch, jump rope, etc. Anything that gets you moving your body.


Note: Happy music that makes you want to move is a bonus and can help to get the kids moving!


Step 2:

Mind Magic - Redirection

I am going to teach you a magic trick for your mind. If you don't already know, I work with the unconscious mind a lot with my clients. The cool thing about our unconscious mind is that it believes everything we tell it that we believe to be true. So, we can actually change how we feel when we take control of our thoughts. Poof! Magic! All we have to do is redirect our thoughts away from what is bringing us down and towards something that makes us feel the way we want to and our unconscious will play along.


For example, as a kid we used to go to a cottage on a lake in the summer. It was my happy place. Anytime I things don't go as planned and want to shift out of yucky feelings, I will close my eyes and imagine my summers at the lake. It brings a smile on my face and shifts my mood. What is your happy place?


Step 3:

Problem Solving & Forward Thinking

We've already released the happy chemicals in our bodies by moving and then altered how we feel by thinking of something in the past that made us feel the way we want to now. It will now be a lot easier to move forward and start problem solving.


Ask yourself what is the next best option?

or

What is the next best result I can achieve?


Sometimes there isn't even something remotely close to the original plan and new ideas need to be created. Once you have the next best thing or a new idea, you start taking action toward that option. That's it! Forward progress on the new path you are creating.


PS - Once this you master this flow, you can do this as quickly as you want. It is a great tool to do with the kids too and model this for them.


PPS - If this doesn't work for you there is likely something deeper going on at an unconscious level. Schedule a complimentary call with me to find out. I am here to help.




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